We’ve discussed before the lies job seekers tell on their resumes, but what about the true-but-strange details job seekers include?  

If you’ve ever come across a resume that falls under the “what were they thinking?” category, perhaps you can sympathize with the contributers to a recent article on MSN (from my colleagues over at The Work Buzz) detailing the often irrelevant – and sometimes inappropriate – things job seekers have included on their resumes…from ill-advised title abbreviations to special-in-the-broadest-sense-of-the-word skills, to dirt. Yes, dirt. Actual dirt.

Take a look at just a few of the bizarre inclusions hiring managers and recruiters reported seeing on job seeker resumes (…and stop me if you’ve heard these before):

1. “I always tell people to include their relocation details up top of their résumé and I received one that read, ‘Researching condoms in the local Washington, DC area.’”  – Heather R. Huhman, founder and president of Come Recommended
2. “Some people do not know how to abbreviate ‘assistant.’ You really should not be abbreviating titles (or much else) on your résumé. To me, it indicates laziness in that you don’t want to spend the time typing the extra letters. But if you’re going to abbreviate ‘assistant,’ please use ‘Asst’ not ‘Ass’.” – Abby Kohut, president and staffing consultant at Staffing Symphony, LLC
3. “I once reviewed a résumé that was handwritten on lined yellow paper. One of the jobs was listed as ‘Central Intelligence Agency, Langley, VA,’ and the description of the job was, ‘I’m not authorized to divulge the nature of my job duties while in the employ of the CIA’.”  – Sue Thompson, The Potentialist at Set Free Life Seminars LLC
4. “I once had a candidate for a marketing assistant position who had worked in a supermarket very early in his career and, for that job; he listed as one of his responsibilities, ‘cut the cheese’.”  – Anonymous hiring manager at a large staffing firm
5. “Dirt. The résumé was intentionally smeared with mud. I don’t recall what the intent was. I immediately threw it away.” – Patrick Scullin, founding partner and executive creative director for Ames Scullin O’Haire Inc.
6. “A résumé from a part-time model.  Included with her résumé was a 4×6 card showing her in various poses and at the bottom it read ‘good hands.’  She was applying for a corporate position.” – Cathleen Faerber, The Wellesley Group, Inc.
7. “Under ‘reason for leaving’ [the applicant] stated ‘threat of death’.” - Cathleen Faerber, The Wellesley Group, Inc.
8. “I think the goofiest thing I saw on a résumé was a person who listed one of their special skills as Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. They were applying for an accounting position, so it makes absolutely no sense why they would have that on there.  The other one was a gentleman who put his marital status as ’single, but looking’ on the résumé!” – Sky Opila, online résumé service BriteTab.com
9. “I think I was fired because my previous employer was racist.” – Laura Koelling, HR department for a catering company in St. Louis
10. “The résumé said ‘ecxellent attention to detail.’ Yes, ‘excellent’ was misspelled!” – Molly Wendell, a job-networking expert and author of “The New Job Search”
11. “An e-mail address: pinkpoodle@…com (How seriously can you take this person? How professional does this e-mail look if used on our behalf?)” – Kitty Werner, Chair, Central Vermont Crime Stoppers
12. “‘I have never trapped a man.’ A woman offered this as evidence of good character.” – Robert Dagnall, ResumeGuru.com

If you think you can beat these stories (and I fear that some of you can), then you might want to check out this previous post on creating a more efficient recruiting process, which also includes information about how you can cut through some of the clutter by taking advantage of free resume screeners.

‘Course…there’s also always the ever-cathartic option of simply venting your own frustrations in the comments section below…